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Proper as the New Radical (Short)

Proper as the New Radical (Short)

So I thought about this today. For pretty much my entire life, my parents always taught me how to act proper, but I didn’t take to a lot of it very easily. As I always did, I questioned because all of it seemed like relics of the ancient past. Through my late teens and most of my 20’s, I was always playing the role of the radical, trying my best to avoid what I thought of as pretension.

It wasn’t until I returned to Buffalo after living in Chicago that it hit me: I had the radical beliefs and capacity to question everything that city raises its natives to pigeonhole them, but if you lined me up side to side with anyone else there, you would never know the difference between me and the types of people I was rebelling against. I wasn’t doing anything to distance or elevate myself, so I started to re-evaluate the way I presented myself. I haven’t regretted it.

Today we saw the inauguration of Donald Trump, a man with the temperament of a spoiled child whose “bwankie” was taken away. This man, who ran a stormy Twitter rant almost 20 minutes long about how he was portrayed on Saturday Night Live, is now the leader of the free world. So it was today that I realized the full importance of conducting myself as a proper gentleman the way my parents always wanted me to.

With the enormous swath of people taking after Trump’s vile behavior, being proper is the way every radical should rebel and show the rest of the world the best of our behavior. Any nitwit can scream curse-filled slogans at the town hall while wearing political cartoon t-shirts and growing unkempt hair; they just blend in with their ideological opposition, which can frequently be seen dressing and acting the same. It takes a true wit to rebel by outclassing their opponents.

Now, more than ever before, is time to stop being an angry slogan-screamer. Look what just happened – see what doing that got us? It’s time to start cleaning up our language and expanding our vocabulary. Wear well-fitting clothes that flatter our figures, even if we’re just in jeans and t-shirts. Stop being indignant and start being tactful when we get offended.

If Donald Trump wasn’t born with a silver spoon, he’d be just another whiny little brat. Think about it: Who or what would he be without his pop’s fortune? So since the new president has no intention of acting presidential, it’s time for us radicals to pick up his slack and show the rest of the world the country’s best.

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About Nicholas Croston

I like to think. A lot. I like to question, challenge, and totally shock and unnerve people. I am a contrarian - whatever you stand for, I'm against.

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